Really? This is all you got? Now I admit, I haven't woke up to toilet paper on my yard since I was in high school, and was somewhat flattered some-teen somewhere would think of us. However, after inspection of the damage, I must spend a few moments on my soap box to hopefully influence the up and coming generation to take a little pride in their work.
First, we will start with some information for Wikipedia: "Toilet papering (also called TP'ing or Yard Rolling) is the act of covering an object (usually a tree, house, or other structure of similar size) with toilet paper. This is typically done by throwing numerous toilet paper rolls in such a way that they unroll in mid-air and thus fall on the targeted object in multiple streams."
Your first misfortune is only using two rolls of TP. Two rolls! What damage did you really expect to do with only 2 rolls? I know that the economy is tight right now, but if you are going to steal from your family's emergency supply - make it count. At least it was 2-ply - that only slightly redeems you.
Your second major mishap was the disappointing lack in vertical arrangement. Sure, there were a few strands hanging from the lowest branch in the shortest tree, but you completely ignored the BIG one and the possibilities that could come from the roof. Most of your job was wrapped around the mailbox and strategically laid on the grass. If you can't handle the height of the tree, get creative, or go home. Or are you in my son's nursery class, and the little tree felt like a giant to you? In that case, you did a great job for a 2 year old.
Why, in my day... I would have 6 or 7 friends come over, we would load up with 2 or 3 rolls of TP each and then recruit my mom to drive us around in our big yellow van (we affectionately called "the bumble bee" because of its bright color and fat black horizontal line that went around the middle of it). We could hit a house and be done in less than 5 minutes. We always chose friends that could not join us that night, or a member of the bishopric - just to make sure they knew we were thinking about them. The operation was a thing of beauty. In later years, my mom started to feel guilty about being a part of vandalism and then refused to be a part of the mischief, even though we usually would go help clean it up in the morning. 
For future experiences, we expect to be dazzled by your TPing performance. Multiple rolls, vertical lines, biodegradable ammo (this is Oregon after all), silent delivery, and of course - you better be back at my house at 9 am to clean it up!! I am pregnant and have a toddler take care of for crying out loud.
One final note, when doing a proper Toilet Papering, stay off the vacant neighbor's property - we all need to stay friends long after you are gone.
Until next time,
Until next time, J & M
3 comments:
Ha! The kids these days. They dont know how to work hard. Do they think that TP grows on trees? NO! In our day we slaved, up hill both ways to get that TP on those trees. We would spend hours in the snow, with no shoes on, throwing roll after roll........:)
That's too funny!
That's too funny!
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